This review was made possible by Popped attending an advanced screening of Cold Storage.
Cold Storage is a horror sci-fi comedy directed by Jonny Campbell, with a screenplay by David Koepp, adapted from his own novel. Koepp’s writing credits include major franchises such as Jurassic Park, Raimi’s Spider-Man, and Indiana Jones.
The film follows two curious workers who become distracted by a constant beeping sound during their night shift at a self-storage facility. While investigating the source of the sound, they accidentally stumble across a highly dangerous and contagious fungus capable of infecting and overtaking its hosts. As the scale of the threat becomes clear, bioterror operatives are called in for support to contain the outbreak before it spreads beyond control.
An Outbreak Without Urgency
Unfortunately, the film feels largely unimaginative. The first two acts move at a sluggish pace, with very little narrative momentum. The screenplay feels uninspired; lacking tension, and many of the comedic beats fail to land. There are repeated moments where characters stare off into the distance or fixate on an object, signalling to an impending jump scare so obviously that any potential suspense immediately vanishes. When jump scares occur too frequently, especially when the film practically pre-warns the audience, it simply loses their impact. Instead of building anticipation, the film becomes repetitive and predictable.
Liam Neeson’s Robert Quinn, despite being the most recognisable name in the cast, is surprisingly underused – though this is not necessarily a negative. However, his character is largely forgettable for much of the runtime is. Liam Neeson only becomes more prominent in the third act, and even then, his character feels oddly handled and somewhat silly, largely by how he is positioned within the action of the third act. Much of the middle portion of the film is weighed down by monotonous military phone conversations that drains the energy rather than heightens the urgency. The frequent cutting to scenes of characters talking over the phone quickly feels incredibly disengaging.
Characters Worth Rooting For, But Not Fully Realised
There are a notable number of supporting characters, though many are written with implausibly poor survival instincts, which makes their behaviour feel frustrating. Continually, watching characters ignore obvious danger or make irrational decisions undermines the stakes. The tension collapses when the threat is meant to be catastrophic, but the characters are written to behave so carelessly. That said, Joe Keery’s Teacake and Georgina Campbell’s Naomi are easy to root for.
Their dynamic as two opposites in a working environment offers some charm; Naomi is curious and ready for an adventure while Teacake, who is on probation, is very hesitant and would prefer to stick to the tasks of their shift. Keery brings a hesitant energy and vulnerability to Teacake, while Campbell grounds Naomi with a practical, and confident presence. However, the film never fully develops their relationship, which makes the epilogue feel confusing and emotionally unearned. We like them, but we are never deeply invested in them.
The third act is where the film finds some footing. As chaos escalates, the humour becomes sharper and a few one-liners genuinely land. The increased pace helps, and Joe Keery and Georgina Campbell feel at their best. The film leans more confidently into its whacky sci-fi, zombie-adjacent fungal outbreak premise, which is where it is at its most entertaining.
Visually, the fungal design is one of the film’s strengths. The fungal creations are genuinely skin-crawling, and unsettling to look at, with fun moments of blood and gore. The practical effects on the infected bodies are at times notably grotesque. However, there is quite a huge inconsistency with the CGI. The repeated shots of internal organs and biological horror initially impresses, but quickly lose novelty when overused so much throughout the film. At times it is noticeably bad, and others, it is fine, with the VFX work in the final explosion being very impressive.
‘Cold Storage’ – Final Thoughts
Ultimately, the stakes feel strangely low for a film about a fungal outbreak that can spread and destroy everything it comes into contact with. Even as light popcorn entertainment, Cold Storage struggles to do very few things right. While it has flashes of fun in its final act and some strong “creature” design, I’m not sure it’s worth sticking through the first hour, to experience the final 30 minutes. The uninspired pacing and lack of sustained tension prevent it from fully committing to either its horror or its comedy.
There are simply stronger and sharper options of 90-minute crowd-pleasing cinema.
Cold Storage releases in theaters on February 20. Check out the trailer below:
The Review
Cold Storage
Ultimately, the stakes feel strangely low for a film about a fungal outbreak that can spread and destroy everything it comes into contact with. Even as light popcorn entertainment, Cold Storage struggles to do very few things right. While it has flashes of fun in its final act and some strong “creature” design, I’m not sure it’s worth sticking through the first hour, to experience the final 30 minutes. The uninspired pacing and lack of sustained tension prevent it from fully committing to either its horror or its comedy.